"Breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping -- Love you, Jill"
He stumbles to the kitchen, and sure enough, there is breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "What happened last night?"
Jack's son answers, "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Jack says, "So, why a red rose, and breakfast on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off,
you screamed, "'Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!'"
Broken furniture - $ 885.26
Hot breakfast - $4.20
Red rose bud - $3.00
Two aspirins - $0.38
"Saying the right thing, at the right time . . . . . Priceless"
Frank Foo.
1 comment:
NURTURING OUR CHILDREN
We live in a society that has all but forgotten the art of nurturing our young. It should come as no surprise to a culture which has promoted, legalized, and funded the slaughter of her innocents for nearly thirty years. When children are not wanted, there is no way they will be loved, cherished, or deemed worthy of the time and dedication needed to nurture them into responsible, virtuous adults. Those of us who know and love God have a high and holy calling to stand against the cultural tide and nurture our children in the Ways of God.
The word nurture comes from the same Latin root as does the word nurse and means to nourish. Nurturing children then is the process of training, rearing, and promoting the development of our little ones. Through godly nurturing we place in them the nourishment they need in order to grow to their full potential in body, soul, and spirit. Our society doesn’t even succeed in providing healthy food for our children’s bodies; both malnutrition and obesity that plague the younger generation attest to this. Healthy food for the soul and spirit is hardly considered at all.
Our Heavenly Father is the Ultimate Nurturer. The Scriptures and Creeds refer to him as God the Father, a familial name, implying relationship. He is the One with whom we are in covenant, who protects us and exercises loving authority over us, who loves us, cares for us, teaches us, and nurtures us by the example of His Son Jesus Christ and by the power of the Holy Spirit actively at work in our lives.
In the time of Moses, God gave mankind instructions as to how we are to live, primarily through the Ten Commandments. Then He spoke these words, giving all of Israel the responsibility to teach His statutes to succeeding generations. “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart; you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)
During the years Jesus lived as man among us here on earth, He perfectly modeled this nurturing process of the Father. Before beginning His active ministry, He chose twelve Apostles to mentor. While engaged in teaching the multitudes, healing the sick, and raising the dead, Jesus spent the majority of His ministry time nurturing the twelve. They traveled together, ate together, lodged together; and He taught them moment by moment, through example as well as by Word. These chosen men observed their Lord at prayer, in the Temple, among the crowds, with His mother. They listened to His wisdom as time and again the religious leaders sought to trap Him. They observed His selflessness, His humility, His servanthood. They experienced His love, His pain, His sorrow, His discipline, and through this process, their souls and spirits grew. They were mentored by the Son of God, and were admonished to teach others as they had been taught.
We who live at the close of the twentieth century are called to do the same. We are to sit at the feet of the Son of God and learn His Ways and then carefully nurture the next generation. How well we accomplish this task is based upon the depth of our own relationship which grows and develops as we spend time with Him. In the nurturing of the spirit of our children, we begin with prayer as soon as we know conception has taken place, covering our children with prayer from the womb forward. We teach them to love God because we love God and, little by little, they grow to love God also. They learn to relate to God in a personal way as they observe us praying, worshiping, and praising Him. They also learn as we share Scripture with them and teach them about the nature and character of the One who created them, loves them, and died for them.
Our children are further nurtured by the Grace they receive at Baptism and through the Body and Blood of our Lord through Holy Eucharist. Their spirits are fed as they learn about the Holiness of God, learn to reverence Him through the signs and symbols of the Church, and experience the power of the Holy Spirit at work in their lives.
Since we are Trinitarian beings, the souls of our children must also be nurtured along with their spirits, as their bodies grow from year to year. Our souls are comprised of our mind, will, emotions, and the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Unfortunately, the education process usually stresses the growth of the mind to the exclusion of the soul and spirit. As our children grow in knowledge, they must also mature in wisdom, which is knowledge guided by understanding, particularly understanding of the Ways of God. Proverbs 9:10 tells us “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Educating a child’s mind without nurturing his soul and spirit will only introduce facts and information; it will not teach him how to live a godly life.
Since children learn from our attitudes as well as our actions, we must constantly be aware of what we are conveying to our children by our daily life. Are we teaching them honesty and integrity in business dealings and relationships? They learn respect for others in how we treat others and speak about others. What are we teaching them in the way we drive our cars, interact with salespeople, or tip waiters and waitresses? Are we generous in giving to others, or are we teaching our children selfishness? Do we push our way in line, or do we invite others to go ahead of us? What they learn from us in dealing with others will most certainly be demonstrated in their relationships with their siblings and others. What do we teach our children about contentment if we gripe and complain and are not content ourselves? Are our children learning to value work (Jesus Himself was a carpenter) or are they developing attitudes of laziness or complacency? Are they learning the joy of serving others, or do they expect to be served themselves? All these things are learned through careful nurturing, moment by moment, year in and year out.
Do our children know they are loved unconditionally by God and by us? In other words, just as God’s love for us is not based upon our performance, beauty, or ability, but on who we are as persons, so our love for our children must be consistent, regardless of their failures. As they grow in security, knowing they are unconditionally loved by God and their parents, they will be able to understand they do not have to win every argument, or always need to be right. They will learn it is OK to make mistakes, or not to be “the best” in everything; in short, it’s all right not to be perfect. Through a godly nurturing process each child can grow to become the person God created him to be, comfortable with his weaknesses as well as his strengths.
Our children should also be taught the importance of confession, repentance, and of asking forgiveness of God and those whom they offend. We must teach our children to take the low position, seeing where they are wrong in each conflict (even when they believe the other person is more wrong!). This is learned most effectively by example, when we as parents humble ourselves and confess and ask forgiveness of our children when we have offended them.
Children also need to learn to express their feelings in healthy ways and to talk them through when necessary. We need to really listen and with God’s help try to understand the depth of what is being expressed, and to teach our children how to handle difficult feelings. Sometimes there are legitimate hurts which need healing; perhaps they need to forgive the offenders (even when the situation is not resolved, such as in the case of the abandonment by a parent, etc.). In other situations, the child may need to give his anger to God, ask a brother or sister for forgiveness, or simply choose not to wallow in self-pity. They learn how to handle their emotions safely and to resolve conflicts through our example and our loving guidance as situations arise.
On the practical side, children in our society today learn how to operate the computer and play video games, but have lost many of the basic skills in the art of daily living. Conversation is one such art where children must constantly be called up higher. They should neither be allowed to dominate, nor should they be ignored, but they should be drawn into the conversation through the parents’ careful questions and encouragement. Unfortunately, the family meal where much of the art of conversation is mastered is not even a part of many homes today. With most families not eating together, many other opportunities for nurturing are also lost. The family meal is where manners are learned, as well as gratefulness for the gifts of food and family, and appreciation for those who provided and prepared the meal. It is a wonderful setting for teaching respect for parents and learning the art of loving hospitality toward guests. Many practical (but vanishing) skills are learned by children of all ages, such as the proper setting of a table, cooking and baking skills, stewardship in using produce and leftovers in a timely fashion, nutrition, cleanliness in food preparation, careful dishwashing, etc. This is also a great time to be with Mom. I still have fond memories of my sister’s and my alternating time with Mom in the kitchen. Just spending time alone with her while working was an extremely valuable sharing time, not to mention the skills I learned.
Working together with our children in all aspects of life—cleaning the house, raking leaves, running errands, and fixing broken things are all part of mentoring and essential to the successful preparation of our children for adulthood. Throughout the whole process of learning these practical things, they need to be constantly nurtured in the Ways of God—integrity, humility, faithfulness, generosity, etc. I believe the only hope for families that are fragmented and shattered is to return to God’s Plan of cherishing and nurturing our young. “Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, Who walks in His ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine In the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants All around your table.” Psalm 128:1-3 “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is His reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them.” Psalm 127:3-5a So be it in our world today!
Post a Comment